Today we received what we'd been praying for throughout this entire journey. Clarity.
We were so thankful that Irina was back. She phoned us this morning and we arranged to meet her at 12:45p before being picked up at 1:30p to go to the orphanage.
When she arrived at our room, Blake and I discussed how the last few days had been in her absence - particularly yesterday - and what our plan was to proceed. Irina completely agreed. In the previous 48 hours when she had been working on her other case, she had experienced all too well what can happen when communication is not as forthcoming as it could have or should have been. Her other family was in the final steps of adopting a 15-year old girl. Everything had gone well, including the initial court hearing. However, after the mandatory 10 day waiting period before the final adoption decree, the girl had decided she did not want to be adopted and leave the country. She had even been on a hosting trip and lived with the prospective parents over the summer, but she just did not want to leave Ukraine in the long run. This did not go over well with the parents - at all - and Irina found herself in the middle of a very contentious situation. The poor thing had been through the mill, but the experience served her well and she absolutely appreciated our approach.
So, our plan was in place to visit the girls and at the end of the visit have Irina have a heart to heart to see what the girls really wanted, and if they even knew what they wanted. Again, we did not want our presence to take away from their feeling comfortable enough to say what they really felt. We had discussed with Konstantin the option of having the girls come for a hosting trip if they were really on the fence and scared about making such a big decision and he said that he could arrange that.
So off to the orphanage we went. Blake and I were still so tired from the previous days' emotions, but were also feeling relieved that at least we would hopefully have some clarity at the end of today's visit.
Our fun project for today's visit was coloring Easter eggs! We had picked up a batch at the grocery store yesterday and asked the hotel if they could possibly boil them for us. Turns out our sweet boutique hotel does not have a stove on premises, but the dear front desk staff offered to take them home and bring them back today, ready to go. And they did. So very kind, and absolutely refused the tip we tried to give them. We truly have enjoyed staying at the Azania. It's been like a little oasis during a very tenuous time.
Armed with my fabulous 99cent Target egg-coloring kit, we arrived at the orphanage at 2pm, as usual, and were escorted to the meeting room. As we waited for the girls to arrive, we set up the eggs and kit so everything would be ready to go. We only needed three cups of warm water for the different dyes, but the area of the orphanage that we were in only offers cold water. One of our favorite staffers left to try to fetch warm water from another part of the building.
The girls arrived within a minute and it was nice to see them. Karina was not as excited as she'd been for our earlier visits, but at least she didn't look as as sullen as yesterday. Victoria was her usual affectionate self. We sat down at the table and showed them all the different things they could do to decorate the eggs -- dyes, stickers, markers, a "magic" crayon (that, if you use it to write on the egg before dipping it in dye, that part of the egg won't be dyed), etc. Big fun! Except the water wasn't back yet. Luckily, we had brought the fantastic marker set and a Scooby Doo coloring book also. The girls started coloring and the water came shortly. We put the dye tablets into the water and waited for them to dissolve.
Karina and Victoria loved coloring the eggs! They had so much fun with all of the decorating options and we all (Irina, the staff, Blake and I) enjoyed watching them have so much fun. It was a much easier and more joyful day than yesterday had been. Finally, at least an hour had passed and it was time for us to go. Our plan was to have Blake and I leave to go "get something in the car" so Irina could have her heart to heart with the girls. We picked up our things and said we'd be back.
On our way out, I asked Blake to stop so I could use the restroom. I use that term broadly. I needed him to stand by the door because there was no lock and I didn't want anyone coming in. At least it wasn't a ceramic "hole in the ground", which I had had to use a few times on this trip; but it was a commode without a seat and no toilet paper, water from the sink, or paper towel. I had learned to come prepared, though, and always traveled with kleenex and purell. I was not in there for more than a few minutes when I heard Irina's voice outside the door.
I stepped out into the hall and Blake said to me, "they don't want to leave." Then Irina looked at me and said, "the girls knew immediatiely what I was going to ask and they told me very decisively that they like you very much, but they want to stay here. Their mother and grandmother are here, and other family, and they do not want to leave." Wow. Well, that didn't take long. There's my clarity.
Blake and I had brought all of the games and gifts and candy that we had brought for the kids at the orphanage as well as all the games we had played with the girls (including two stuffed "Easter puppies", one pink and one purple, that I'd yet to give them) and had placed them in the trunk of our car, just in case this very thing happened. We wanted to be sure there was closure, both for us and for the girls.
We took the big bag of things and walked back to the meeting room. The girls were waiting for us. I was eerily calm and made sure I had a big smile on my face. I didn't want Karina or Victoria to sense my sadness and feel bad at all for their decision. We showed them the things we had brought for the kids and showed them the huge coloring books and markers and "Operation" that we wanted them to keep. I also gave them each an Easter puppy. We told them how much we enjoyed meeting them and that they were wonderful girls. They came to hug us and Victoria gave me such a long, wonderful hug. She gives great hugs! Then we "switched" girls. Karina had been hugging Blake and I noticed a tear rolling down her cheek. I gave her a huge hug and she just started crying. Of course, that was it for me and I couldn't hold back my tears. I took her face in my hands and looked her in the eyes and said "that's okay, it's okay", and kissed her on the forehead. We all walked out into the hallway toward the main entrance. Victoria and I walked out arm and arm. In the main hall, we bid our final goodbyes to the girls. We assured them it was okay, we were okay, and we only wanted for them to be happy. They walked away, to their room, and Blake and I paced in the hall to collect ourselves.
Irina needed to speak with the orphanage director to give her the news. The director asked us into her office. She warmly asked if we were upset, as I'm sure she noticed my eyes, and we told her that, of course, we were sad, but that our true desire was for the girls to be happy and that we did not want to adopt them if they didn't want to be adopted. Blake said it was about them, not about us. She told us that sometimes the children just want to stay near where their family is. She also said she was very happy to have met us and to have had us at the orphanage. We reiterated how impressed we were with the orphanage and what an excellent job she does and thanked her for her hospitality.
On the ride back to the hotel, my mind was kind of cluttered and racing, going over all of the events that had led us to this particular place and time. Blake and I had and have been through a lot on our long, tumultuous journey toward parenthood. We had always had a united front in how we were to proceed and had decided together, back at home, that this "adventure" to Ukraine was going to be our swan song in our quest for parenthood, regardless of how it ended. We also realized very clearly while we've been in Ukraine that we were going to be "placing all of our chips" into this particular adoption. It would be possible for us to return to Kiev for another appointment with the SDA to look through the 6-10 files of children they would choose to present to us, but I honestly do not know how anyone would have the stamina for that after going through the emotional whirlwind of what we've been through. I certainly know that we don't.
To be frank, we did not come to Ukraine because we were "desperate" to be parents. We wanted to be parents. We were open to and embracing of being parents. But we have a great life, let's face it. Parenthood to the right kids would have simply been icing on the cake.
We came to Ukraine because we felt led to be here. Because, through a series of events, we felt called by God to step out in faith and put ourselves in the position to be here as His instruments to do with us as He chose. We knew, if it was His will, that those "right kids" would be presented to us. Throughout this week, we felt strongly that those kids were Karina and Victoria. But now we know that is not the case.
For as long as I can remember I have prayed and prayed for healthy, happy children. Then, in the last few years, God has redirected my heart and I have since been praying and praying for peace and clarity regarding parenthood. Before we left for this trip, I felt a strong sense of peace that I would receive my answer here in Ukraine (only God knows why Ukraine- lol!). I have felt very strongly that regardless of the outcome of our trip, I could finally let my quest for parenthood end. I could be at peace knowing that we had done absolutely everything asked of us and have stepped out with courage in the direction we felt God was leading us. (Incidentally, Blake had felt at peace a long time ago, but it's a testament to his faith and his love for me that he was not only willing, but eager, to take this Big Ukrainian Adventure with me. I am beyond blessed to have him as my husband.)
We will be flying home tomorrow morning, leaving Donetsk at 9:20am and, after stops in Kiev and London, arriving in Chicago at 8:10pm. If all goes well, we will be home before 10pm. It will be good to be home.
At dinner tonight, Irina and Blake and I shared a bottle of wine. We were so grateful to have had Irina with us through this journey, especially today. She is very good at what she does and she flattered us by saying that we had done everything "right". She said that it was obvious how much the girls cared for us but that it was also very clear that they wanted to stay here. She said it was very gratifying to work with such "good people". Ditto.
Before we drank our wine, Blake proposed a toast: "To Karina and Victoria, may they live a healthy and blessed life."
To Karina and Victoria, we're going home tomorrow but there will always be a tiny piece of our hearts left here with you.
Thank you, God, for the clarity. Soon enough, I know there will be peace.
xo
Wednesday, 20 April 2011
Tuesday, 19 April 2011
Putting it all out there ...
It's 11:30pm and I have to get to bed, but wanted to send a final note before nodding off.
Blake and I treated ourselves to dinner at the Donbass Palace tonight. It wasn't actually that expensive, but it was a tremendous relief to not have to struggle with Russian and point to what we wanted to eat and drink. We just didn't have the energy for it. After today's visit, we really just wanted to go somewhere at least a smidgeon western. And let me tell you, a smidgeon is the best you can do here - but we'll take it. Everyone we encountered at the Donbass speaks pretty good English, so it was a nice reprieve.
We are simply exhausted. The emotions involved in this process are high, to say the least, and when you are trying to, likewise, figure out the emotions of little girls, well, therein lies the rub. We have been back and forth over this for days and now, again, all evening long. We realize we must be flexible and understanding here - obviously - but we also want to have some kind of plan so we don't feel like we're just spinning our wheels or going backwards or overstaying our welcome.
So, although we may not "officially" extend our offer to adopt the girls tomorrow as previously planned, we have decided that we still want to let the girls know that we would like to adopt them and find out if they have any interest in that at all.
Irina will be back with us tomorrow, which we are so grateful for. Katya is nice and means well, to be sure, but during the majority of our visits, we would literally have to say "tell them that, please" or "translate that, please" or "what are they saying", etc., as she seemed to get caught up in what what was happening and forget to translate. We definitely felt a disconnect that we didn't feel when Irina was with us. We also think Irina is just more professional. She seems to handle situations with more aplomb, and we hope that will serve us well going forward.
So, with Irina as our liaison, we feel confident to proceed with our "new" plan. We will be very interested to see how the girls react to us tomorrow. Hopefully, it will not be joyless again for our meeting. Following our visit (or maybe even during it if we feel really out of place), we will have Irina talk with the girls without us present. We do not want our presence to affect how the girls respond. We want them to respond openly and candidly, and we're not sure if they will do that with us right there. We will have Irina tell them, point blank, that we want to adopt them, want them to come to the United States to live with us, etc., and ask them if they have any interest or curiosity in that at all. They certainly do not need to decide or commit or even come close to that. Not at all. But if they have no interest whatsoever, that is fine, but we want to know. We understand. It's a huge change and leap for young girls their age to make. If they do have an interest or curiosity in adoption by us, though, we will continue to go forward and to be patient.
We are also going to contact Konstantin to see if there would be a possibility of the girls coming to the U.S. this summer for us to host them if they are not yet ready for adoption. Perhaps seeing how we live and how things are in our home and in our country would be helpful for the girls to make this huge decision. But we will be clear that we are interested in hosting them to adopt them. We're not like the Italian family who only wants to have them around for the summer. Obviously, that doesn't mean they'd have to want to be adopted after our hosting them, but we want them to know upfront that we are interested in adopting them.
So that's the plan for tomorrow. Today was just such a sock in the gut that we cannot continue pretending that everything is okay when it surely is not. It just makes no sense and, frankly, it's taking its toll on us. The whole thing is taking a toll on us, so we can imagine how it's affecting Karina and Victoria. We truly do not want them to feel any unnecessary angst. That is the last thing we want for them.
So, hopefully, tomorrow we will at least know if the girls have any interest in going forward at all, or if they really just wanted to meet new friends. We want to feel like we are going in a direction, at least, and I am sure that Karina and Victoria will be relieved one way or the other.
As always, your prayers are so greatly appreciated. We will need lots of them in the next few days.
xo
Blake and I treated ourselves to dinner at the Donbass Palace tonight. It wasn't actually that expensive, but it was a tremendous relief to not have to struggle with Russian and point to what we wanted to eat and drink. We just didn't have the energy for it. After today's visit, we really just wanted to go somewhere at least a smidgeon western. And let me tell you, a smidgeon is the best you can do here - but we'll take it. Everyone we encountered at the Donbass speaks pretty good English, so it was a nice reprieve.
We are simply exhausted. The emotions involved in this process are high, to say the least, and when you are trying to, likewise, figure out the emotions of little girls, well, therein lies the rub. We have been back and forth over this for days and now, again, all evening long. We realize we must be flexible and understanding here - obviously - but we also want to have some kind of plan so we don't feel like we're just spinning our wheels or going backwards or overstaying our welcome.
So, although we may not "officially" extend our offer to adopt the girls tomorrow as previously planned, we have decided that we still want to let the girls know that we would like to adopt them and find out if they have any interest in that at all.
Irina will be back with us tomorrow, which we are so grateful for. Katya is nice and means well, to be sure, but during the majority of our visits, we would literally have to say "tell them that, please" or "translate that, please" or "what are they saying", etc., as she seemed to get caught up in what what was happening and forget to translate. We definitely felt a disconnect that we didn't feel when Irina was with us. We also think Irina is just more professional. She seems to handle situations with more aplomb, and we hope that will serve us well going forward.
So, with Irina as our liaison, we feel confident to proceed with our "new" plan. We will be very interested to see how the girls react to us tomorrow. Hopefully, it will not be joyless again for our meeting. Following our visit (or maybe even during it if we feel really out of place), we will have Irina talk with the girls without us present. We do not want our presence to affect how the girls respond. We want them to respond openly and candidly, and we're not sure if they will do that with us right there. We will have Irina tell them, point blank, that we want to adopt them, want them to come to the United States to live with us, etc., and ask them if they have any interest or curiosity in that at all. They certainly do not need to decide or commit or even come close to that. Not at all. But if they have no interest whatsoever, that is fine, but we want to know. We understand. It's a huge change and leap for young girls their age to make. If they do have an interest or curiosity in adoption by us, though, we will continue to go forward and to be patient.
We are also going to contact Konstantin to see if there would be a possibility of the girls coming to the U.S. this summer for us to host them if they are not yet ready for adoption. Perhaps seeing how we live and how things are in our home and in our country would be helpful for the girls to make this huge decision. But we will be clear that we are interested in hosting them to adopt them. We're not like the Italian family who only wants to have them around for the summer. Obviously, that doesn't mean they'd have to want to be adopted after our hosting them, but we want them to know upfront that we are interested in adopting them.
So that's the plan for tomorrow. Today was just such a sock in the gut that we cannot continue pretending that everything is okay when it surely is not. It just makes no sense and, frankly, it's taking its toll on us. The whole thing is taking a toll on us, so we can imagine how it's affecting Karina and Victoria. We truly do not want them to feel any unnecessary angst. That is the last thing we want for them.
So, hopefully, tomorrow we will at least know if the girls have any interest in going forward at all, or if they really just wanted to meet new friends. We want to feel like we are going in a direction, at least, and I am sure that Karina and Victoria will be relieved one way or the other.
As always, your prayers are so greatly appreciated. We will need lots of them in the next few days.
xo
A Hard Day at the Orphanage
Today was not a good day at the orphanage. We arrived at 2pm as requested. Things seemed considerably less hectic than yesterday, but still busy. We were told the girls were just finishing up with lunch. In the meantime, we asked if we could see the orphanage doctor either before or after we saw the girls, and the child psychologist, as we had been told we would be meeting with them today, too. Katya translated and they said okay.
We were escorted to the meeting room. As we sat down to wait, Blake said to me, "Now watch, they will bring the girls in and then bring the doctor in here at the same time." Within a few minutes, the girls walked in. There was a drastic change in their demeanor compared to our earlier visits. Victoria managed a small smile and, of course, a hug (she loves to hug!), but Karina was as stone-faced as a totem pole. We asked how they were, how their day was going, etc. No joy in Mudville. So we brought out the big coloring books with the pictures they had started yesterday but hadn't finished. They wanted to finish those.
Of course, just as Blake had predicted, in walked the orphanage doctor. She sat down at the table, pulled out the girls' files and just started rattling off the information, right there in front of all of us. I was not happy. I asked Katya to please stop her, to ask if we could do this without the girls present. The doctor replied that the girls know this information, so what is the problem? I implored again. Again the doctor's response, as she continued with her litany, "the girls know this about themselves, what is the problem?". What is the problem? The problem is that you are treating these girls as if they are cattle at an auction. That is the problem. That is a big problem in my opinion. I was livid. Of course, I couldn't really show it, though.
Immediately following that lovely scene, the child psychologist came in. Fabulous. She sat down in the chair the doctor had vacated. She started saying something and I just said, strongly, "NO!". Of course, everyone knows what that means. I told Katya that we did not want to have the same situation repeated and could we please meet with her another time? The psychologist then said that she would only be able to give us information about the girls if both the girls and we confirm our commitment to one another. By the way, does anyone here notice the 11- and 8-year old girls sitting five feet away? The ones who you are so offhandedly discussing, in their native language, as if they're not here? I felt sick to my stomach.
The meeting had started poorly from the get-go, but these added intrusions left me feeling like a passenger on the Titanic. As I was coloring my page next to Victoria, I honestly got the same sunken feeling that I remember getting when a date started going horribly wrong. The kind of date where you'd had a great couple of early meetings and you're so excited that maybe, just maybe, this could be it. But then, for some reason, the next time you see the guy, he doesn't seem interested and no matter how much you smile, you realize that something is lost. What had happened? It's awkward and you don't know what to do to fix it. That's how I felt. And once we were back in the hotel room after today's visit, Blake told me that is exactly how he felt, too. We were both single long enough to remember those situations a lot more clearly than we'd wish.
Back in the meeting room, Blake and I decided, since we could talk freely in front of the girls, that we would ask Katya to ask Karina and Victoria if they wanted us to come tomorrow. We certainly do not want to push ourselves on them or for them to meet with us if they'd rather not. They both said they'd like us to come. We made Katya ask a few times, just to be sure and to make it clear that it was okay if they did not want us to come. But, they said they wanted us to come. So we are going tomorrow with hard-boiled eggs and an egg decorating kit I had picked up at Target for about $2. Gotta love Target.
When we were all getting up to leave the meeting room, it was the first time that Karina had a smile. She started smiling as we were walking out. Smiling and looking at us again. We got hugs from the girls. Victoria gives great hugs! She also hugged the psychologist, who had stayed in the room. She just loves to hug, we've discovered. So, we really can't read anything into the fact that she likes to hug us. Karina gave us hugs, too, but not quite the same as Victoria. We told them we'd see them again tomorrow.
As we were walking out of the orphanage, we looked back and noticed that Victoria was still standing in the hallway watching us go. So we waved.
We truly have absolutely no idea what to think. We had planned to officially offer to adopt the girls tomorrow, but it is pretty apparent that they aren't ready for that. Because of the marked change in their behavior toward us, we honestly don't know if they will ever be ready for it.
We do think that we will at least "come clean" and be open with them about why we are there. Let's face it, with what went on with the orphanage doctor and psychologist today, they know why we are there. Blake and I have felt for a few days now that Karina knows exactly why we are there. We are going to be very open about it so if they have no interest in us adopting them whatsoever, at least we will know and we can all move on. Or perhaps they are curious and would want to ask us questions that they didn't think they could ask us previously. Either way, we won't press for any kind of decision immediately. We simply think it's past the point of trying to pass ourselves off as just "friends".
Another emotional day in Donetsk. At least it's sunny. I guess you can't always say the same about our adoption outlook, but we remain hopeful and faithful. Sometimes, I suppose that's the best we can do.
xo
We were escorted to the meeting room. As we sat down to wait, Blake said to me, "Now watch, they will bring the girls in and then bring the doctor in here at the same time." Within a few minutes, the girls walked in. There was a drastic change in their demeanor compared to our earlier visits. Victoria managed a small smile and, of course, a hug (she loves to hug!), but Karina was as stone-faced as a totem pole. We asked how they were, how their day was going, etc. No joy in Mudville. So we brought out the big coloring books with the pictures they had started yesterday but hadn't finished. They wanted to finish those.
Of course, just as Blake had predicted, in walked the orphanage doctor. She sat down at the table, pulled out the girls' files and just started rattling off the information, right there in front of all of us. I was not happy. I asked Katya to please stop her, to ask if we could do this without the girls present. The doctor replied that the girls know this information, so what is the problem? I implored again. Again the doctor's response, as she continued with her litany, "the girls know this about themselves, what is the problem?". What is the problem? The problem is that you are treating these girls as if they are cattle at an auction. That is the problem. That is a big problem in my opinion. I was livid. Of course, I couldn't really show it, though.
Immediately following that lovely scene, the child psychologist came in. Fabulous. She sat down in the chair the doctor had vacated. She started saying something and I just said, strongly, "NO!". Of course, everyone knows what that means. I told Katya that we did not want to have the same situation repeated and could we please meet with her another time? The psychologist then said that she would only be able to give us information about the girls if both the girls and we confirm our commitment to one another. By the way, does anyone here notice the 11- and 8-year old girls sitting five feet away? The ones who you are so offhandedly discussing, in their native language, as if they're not here? I felt sick to my stomach.
The meeting had started poorly from the get-go, but these added intrusions left me feeling like a passenger on the Titanic. As I was coloring my page next to Victoria, I honestly got the same sunken feeling that I remember getting when a date started going horribly wrong. The kind of date where you'd had a great couple of early meetings and you're so excited that maybe, just maybe, this could be it. But then, for some reason, the next time you see the guy, he doesn't seem interested and no matter how much you smile, you realize that something is lost. What had happened? It's awkward and you don't know what to do to fix it. That's how I felt. And once we were back in the hotel room after today's visit, Blake told me that is exactly how he felt, too. We were both single long enough to remember those situations a lot more clearly than we'd wish.
Back in the meeting room, Blake and I decided, since we could talk freely in front of the girls, that we would ask Katya to ask Karina and Victoria if they wanted us to come tomorrow. We certainly do not want to push ourselves on them or for them to meet with us if they'd rather not. They both said they'd like us to come. We made Katya ask a few times, just to be sure and to make it clear that it was okay if they did not want us to come. But, they said they wanted us to come. So we are going tomorrow with hard-boiled eggs and an egg decorating kit I had picked up at Target for about $2. Gotta love Target.
When we were all getting up to leave the meeting room, it was the first time that Karina had a smile. She started smiling as we were walking out. Smiling and looking at us again. We got hugs from the girls. Victoria gives great hugs! She also hugged the psychologist, who had stayed in the room. She just loves to hug, we've discovered. So, we really can't read anything into the fact that she likes to hug us. Karina gave us hugs, too, but not quite the same as Victoria. We told them we'd see them again tomorrow.
As we were walking out of the orphanage, we looked back and noticed that Victoria was still standing in the hallway watching us go. So we waved.
We truly have absolutely no idea what to think. We had planned to officially offer to adopt the girls tomorrow, but it is pretty apparent that they aren't ready for that. Because of the marked change in their behavior toward us, we honestly don't know if they will ever be ready for it.
We do think that we will at least "come clean" and be open with them about why we are there. Let's face it, with what went on with the orphanage doctor and psychologist today, they know why we are there. Blake and I have felt for a few days now that Karina knows exactly why we are there. We are going to be very open about it so if they have no interest in us adopting them whatsoever, at least we will know and we can all move on. Or perhaps they are curious and would want to ask us questions that they didn't think they could ask us previously. Either way, we won't press for any kind of decision immediately. We simply think it's past the point of trying to pass ourselves off as just "friends".
Another emotional day in Donetsk. At least it's sunny. I guess you can't always say the same about our adoption outlook, but we remain hopeful and faithful. Sometimes, I suppose that's the best we can do.
xo
Monday, 18 April 2011
A long, but productive, day ...
I'm typing this line after I've just completed today's post. This took me hours to finish. Sorry for "War and Peace", but I had a lot to get out, I guess ...
It's 11:30pm Monday night as I write this and it has been a long and busy and emotional day. I am tired, but my brain is still too awake to even try sleep. Good time to catch you all up on our day.
We started our day by walking to the only 5-star hotel in Donetsk for a work-out. The Donbass Palace is one of the "Leading Hotels of the World" and is, of course, beautiful. They have a spa and "fitness center", but in reality it's a small gym, but certainly workable. I had a great run on the treadmill while Blake did his weights. We're thankful that they allow those who aren't staying at the hotel to use the gym for a fee. There's another larger, actual fitness center that we could use, but it's a good 25-30 minute walk and the Donbass is only about 10-12 minutes and a nice walk the whole way. Going into the Donbass I, of course, wonder if I should try to finagle a deal for one of our future trips, but honestly I love the Azania. I am sure the rooms here are at least twice as big, plus with so much personality and the small mini-kitchen - and at least 1/3 the price! We really have become so comfortable here and I am incredibly thankful for that.
When we returned, we met our "substitute" interpretor/liaison, Katya. Irina was in the middle of another adoption case when Konstantin called and asked her to take our case. The other adoption was almost completely finished, but she needed to be in another region today for court. So we have Katya for today and tomorrow while Irina finishes the case and travels back here. Katya is very nice, striking and tall. Her English is not quite as good as Irina's, but still very good.
We were to be at the orphanage at 2pm, so met with Katya to go over our case (our info & the girls' info) and left at 1:30p. When we got to the orphanage, things seemed a little more hectic than usual. I think I mentioned that the orphanage director was on vacation last week. Well, because of that, there was a lot going on. We were to meet with her and the orphanage doctor at some point, in addition, of course, to seeing the girls. Lots of discussion back and forth as to who to see when, etc. Within about 10 minutes Karina and Victoria were brought out to see us. It was so good to see them. They looked great! We talked for a little while about what we each had done the day before and then were told that the girls had to go back somewhere and we were going to meet with someone -- it was kind of confusing.
Eventually we were taken into the room where we always go for our visits with the girls. I'll call it the meeting room. I like that room alot because it has a comfy couch and table, but mostly because it doesn't have the awful smell of Ukrainian disinfectant (I think because it's carpeted.). I am telling you, I first smelled it in the lav on the train, and then smelled it at the orphanage. It is certainly disinfectant, but not like any I've smelled before and I honestly feel like I'm going to lose my cookies every time we walk into the orphanage. I really have to concentrate to keep from gagging. Blake always tells me to try to concentrate on the fact that it means the orphanage is very clean. Which it is. I don't have a lot of experience with orphanages, but as far as we can tell, this one is a top-notch one.
So, Blake and Katya and I went into the meeting room and waited for one of the staff members who we were to meet to come in. And we waited. And we waited. We waited for almost two hours, which really became annoying and frustrating. Annoying because they told us to come at 2pm, so we did. Frustrating, because we couldn't see the girls while we were waiting. As it turns out, the entire staff was in a meeting with the director. The meeting took much longer than normal because the director had been on vacation. Also, in this region &/or at this particular orphanage, children are not allowed to visit with prospective parents without a staff member present. Katya and Irina have both mentioned that this is somewhat unusual after the first meeting and that it is customary for the children to visit as long as the interpretor (who is also a court liaison) is present. But not the case here. Which, although, it was somewhat maddening today, I have to appreciate.
While we were waiting, Blake and I learned more about Katya and her family. She's a warm and interesting person. We also pulled out the good ole' game "Operation". Remember that one where there are various plastic pieces that you need to try to "extricate" from the patient with "tweezers" without touching the metal sides bordering the pieces and getting buzzed? We picked it up in Kiev and it had taken us this long to find AAA batteries here, so we were finally able to take it to play with the girls. Fun game! They have improved it with some funny sound effects. It was good "research" before playing it with the girls! ;)
Finally, the meeting was out and our two favorite staff members brought Karina and Victoria into the room with us. They were a little out of breath as they had been on a "nature walk". We started playing Operation and the girls picked it up immediately. Immediately! Very good at it, too. After a few rounds, we were told that the director could see us, so we left the girls with the game and said we'd be back in about 15 minutes.
The director is a very busy woman. It was good to have this chance to talk with her. The first thing she said to us is that some children feel that the orphanange is their home and so they choose to stay and not to be adopted. Expanding on that, we asked if she knew the reasons behind the girls' rejection of the two offers for adoption. She said that actually one of the offers she herself had rejected because the girls were away in Italy for their hosting trip. She invited the couple to come back after the girls returned, though, and they never did. No western family, including the Italian family who hosted Karina and Victoria for two months, has attempted to adopt them. (Which brings up an interesting sidebar. Konstantin mentioned that Italians love to host orphans during the summer. Far and away, they host more kids than any other country. However, they adopt far less than the other countries who adopt from Ukraine. Konstantin chalks it up to simply just the way Italians are. He thinks they really love to have children around and to give them a fun summer, but they have no thoughts of adopting. Meanwhile, Americans usually do not host unless they are considering adoption. Just different thoughts and different cultures.) Anyway, we learned that the girls are very highly thought of. Karina is a leader, they are both very tidy and organized. Karina is the hen, and Victoria is the chicken, according to the director. It has always been our feeling that Karina will be making this decision as to whether or not they will want to be adopted by us or not, and the director said exactly that. Before we knew it, we were out of her office (she had another meeting to attend to!) and on our way back to the meeting room.
The girls were finishing up with their probably umpteenth round of Operation, so we watched the final turns of that, and then brought out the huge coloring books (which are really as big as artist sketch pads) and markers we had brought. The girls both chose a page from the Disney princess book- Victoria chose a page with Ariel and Karina chose Cinderella. As they were selecting their markers, Karina noted that the markers were scented according to their colors. The orange smelled like an orange, the purple like grape, etc. I had used a few of the markers the night before and I never noticed that! Sometimes it just takes a kid! They are excellent at coloring, very particular and very neat. Our favorite staff members who were in there with us reiterated how tidy the girls are. You know I loved hearing that! ;) I had also taken out the photo books I had brought for the girls and showed Katya and the staffers our dogs. (I know we're crazy about our dogs, but the subject came up - I didn't bring it up!) They loved looking through the photos and one of our favorites jokingly asked if we would adopt her! They told us they really like us. That made us feel good.
At 5pm it was time for the girls to attend to their studies (which they do every day from 5-6p). Today, however, we were able to walk them back to their room to see it. They were very proud to show us where they live. Victoria took my hand right away and never let go for the entire tour. Karina was beaming and kept looking at us to see what we were thinking - or maybe just sizing us up, which Blake and I feel she must be doing a lot of lately.
I have to give credit where credit is due. I gained even more respect for the director on that tour. It is obvious that she runs a very tight ship. It is also obvious that the people whom she's hired have a deep love for the children and that the kids are very well cared for. They have a very structured schedule, but one that also includes fun activities and field trips as well as studying and responsibilites. The place was very clean - immaculate - and the children's rooms were bright and neat and matching! From room to room, each room had its own color scheme and every bed fit that scheme. I was impressed.
We also met a few of the kids during our tour, two of whom Karina introduced as her best friends, next to Victoria (aw!). One, Julia, was a real crackerjack, I could tell. She was positive that I had been her flight attendant on her trip to Italy the year earlier. I decided to avoid explaining that that wasn't possible. She was funny, though! We could see that preteen girl talk is alive and well with those young ladies.
We finished our tour and gave the girls big hugs goodbye. They are so dear and we feel more protective of them every day. We truly want them to be happy and, of course, think we could make them pretty darn happy. But honestly, I remember being 11 and I remember how close I was to my friends at that time. If I had to make the decision that Karina will need to make, I truly don't know what I would have decided. They are well taken care of and are surrounded by friends and people who love them. I think if Victoria was to decide on her own, she'd definitely want to be adopted. Just my thought. Just the difference between 8 and 11 maybe.
Blake and I have decided to officially extend an invitation to adopt Karina and Victoria on Wednesday, or possibly Thursday at the latest. They still have not been told that that is really why we are here visiting them as we do not want them to feel any pressure, especially in light of their "adoption rejection" history. But Karina is a smart girl. We are confident that she knows exactly why we're here. The orphanage staff is attempting to prepare the girls each day for the prospect of being adopted.
So, we shall see. More than anything, Blake and I are convinced that this is all in God's hands. We are not worried or stressed out (at least we try hard not to be!). We truly do feel at peace to go forward with however it will turn out. We feel peace and we feel clarity. Now we are praying that Karina and Victoria will feel the same peace and clarity with whatever the decision is that they make.
xoxo
It's 11:30pm Monday night as I write this and it has been a long and busy and emotional day. I am tired, but my brain is still too awake to even try sleep. Good time to catch you all up on our day.
We started our day by walking to the only 5-star hotel in Donetsk for a work-out. The Donbass Palace is one of the "Leading Hotels of the World" and is, of course, beautiful. They have a spa and "fitness center", but in reality it's a small gym, but certainly workable. I had a great run on the treadmill while Blake did his weights. We're thankful that they allow those who aren't staying at the hotel to use the gym for a fee. There's another larger, actual fitness center that we could use, but it's a good 25-30 minute walk and the Donbass is only about 10-12 minutes and a nice walk the whole way. Going into the Donbass I, of course, wonder if I should try to finagle a deal for one of our future trips, but honestly I love the Azania. I am sure the rooms here are at least twice as big, plus with so much personality and the small mini-kitchen - and at least 1/3 the price! We really have become so comfortable here and I am incredibly thankful for that.
When we returned, we met our "substitute" interpretor/liaison, Katya. Irina was in the middle of another adoption case when Konstantin called and asked her to take our case. The other adoption was almost completely finished, but she needed to be in another region today for court. So we have Katya for today and tomorrow while Irina finishes the case and travels back here. Katya is very nice, striking and tall. Her English is not quite as good as Irina's, but still very good.
We were to be at the orphanage at 2pm, so met with Katya to go over our case (our info & the girls' info) and left at 1:30p. When we got to the orphanage, things seemed a little more hectic than usual. I think I mentioned that the orphanage director was on vacation last week. Well, because of that, there was a lot going on. We were to meet with her and the orphanage doctor at some point, in addition, of course, to seeing the girls. Lots of discussion back and forth as to who to see when, etc. Within about 10 minutes Karina and Victoria were brought out to see us. It was so good to see them. They looked great! We talked for a little while about what we each had done the day before and then were told that the girls had to go back somewhere and we were going to meet with someone -- it was kind of confusing.
Eventually we were taken into the room where we always go for our visits with the girls. I'll call it the meeting room. I like that room alot because it has a comfy couch and table, but mostly because it doesn't have the awful smell of Ukrainian disinfectant (I think because it's carpeted.). I am telling you, I first smelled it in the lav on the train, and then smelled it at the orphanage. It is certainly disinfectant, but not like any I've smelled before and I honestly feel like I'm going to lose my cookies every time we walk into the orphanage. I really have to concentrate to keep from gagging. Blake always tells me to try to concentrate on the fact that it means the orphanage is very clean. Which it is. I don't have a lot of experience with orphanages, but as far as we can tell, this one is a top-notch one.
So, Blake and Katya and I went into the meeting room and waited for one of the staff members who we were to meet to come in. And we waited. And we waited. We waited for almost two hours, which really became annoying and frustrating. Annoying because they told us to come at 2pm, so we did. Frustrating, because we couldn't see the girls while we were waiting. As it turns out, the entire staff was in a meeting with the director. The meeting took much longer than normal because the director had been on vacation. Also, in this region &/or at this particular orphanage, children are not allowed to visit with prospective parents without a staff member present. Katya and Irina have both mentioned that this is somewhat unusual after the first meeting and that it is customary for the children to visit as long as the interpretor (who is also a court liaison) is present. But not the case here. Which, although, it was somewhat maddening today, I have to appreciate.
While we were waiting, Blake and I learned more about Katya and her family. She's a warm and interesting person. We also pulled out the good ole' game "Operation". Remember that one where there are various plastic pieces that you need to try to "extricate" from the patient with "tweezers" without touching the metal sides bordering the pieces and getting buzzed? We picked it up in Kiev and it had taken us this long to find AAA batteries here, so we were finally able to take it to play with the girls. Fun game! They have improved it with some funny sound effects. It was good "research" before playing it with the girls! ;)
Finally, the meeting was out and our two favorite staff members brought Karina and Victoria into the room with us. They were a little out of breath as they had been on a "nature walk". We started playing Operation and the girls picked it up immediately. Immediately! Very good at it, too. After a few rounds, we were told that the director could see us, so we left the girls with the game and said we'd be back in about 15 minutes.
The director is a very busy woman. It was good to have this chance to talk with her. The first thing she said to us is that some children feel that the orphanange is their home and so they choose to stay and not to be adopted. Expanding on that, we asked if she knew the reasons behind the girls' rejection of the two offers for adoption. She said that actually one of the offers she herself had rejected because the girls were away in Italy for their hosting trip. She invited the couple to come back after the girls returned, though, and they never did. No western family, including the Italian family who hosted Karina and Victoria for two months, has attempted to adopt them. (Which brings up an interesting sidebar. Konstantin mentioned that Italians love to host orphans during the summer. Far and away, they host more kids than any other country. However, they adopt far less than the other countries who adopt from Ukraine. Konstantin chalks it up to simply just the way Italians are. He thinks they really love to have children around and to give them a fun summer, but they have no thoughts of adopting. Meanwhile, Americans usually do not host unless they are considering adoption. Just different thoughts and different cultures.) Anyway, we learned that the girls are very highly thought of. Karina is a leader, they are both very tidy and organized. Karina is the hen, and Victoria is the chicken, according to the director. It has always been our feeling that Karina will be making this decision as to whether or not they will want to be adopted by us or not, and the director said exactly that. Before we knew it, we were out of her office (she had another meeting to attend to!) and on our way back to the meeting room.
The girls were finishing up with their probably umpteenth round of Operation, so we watched the final turns of that, and then brought out the huge coloring books (which are really as big as artist sketch pads) and markers we had brought. The girls both chose a page from the Disney princess book- Victoria chose a page with Ariel and Karina chose Cinderella. As they were selecting their markers, Karina noted that the markers were scented according to their colors. The orange smelled like an orange, the purple like grape, etc. I had used a few of the markers the night before and I never noticed that! Sometimes it just takes a kid! They are excellent at coloring, very particular and very neat. Our favorite staff members who were in there with us reiterated how tidy the girls are. You know I loved hearing that! ;) I had also taken out the photo books I had brought for the girls and showed Katya and the staffers our dogs. (I know we're crazy about our dogs, but the subject came up - I didn't bring it up!) They loved looking through the photos and one of our favorites jokingly asked if we would adopt her! They told us they really like us. That made us feel good.
At 5pm it was time for the girls to attend to their studies (which they do every day from 5-6p). Today, however, we were able to walk them back to their room to see it. They were very proud to show us where they live. Victoria took my hand right away and never let go for the entire tour. Karina was beaming and kept looking at us to see what we were thinking - or maybe just sizing us up, which Blake and I feel she must be doing a lot of lately.
I have to give credit where credit is due. I gained even more respect for the director on that tour. It is obvious that she runs a very tight ship. It is also obvious that the people whom she's hired have a deep love for the children and that the kids are very well cared for. They have a very structured schedule, but one that also includes fun activities and field trips as well as studying and responsibilites. The place was very clean - immaculate - and the children's rooms were bright and neat and matching! From room to room, each room had its own color scheme and every bed fit that scheme. I was impressed.
We also met a few of the kids during our tour, two of whom Karina introduced as her best friends, next to Victoria (aw!). One, Julia, was a real crackerjack, I could tell. She was positive that I had been her flight attendant on her trip to Italy the year earlier. I decided to avoid explaining that that wasn't possible. She was funny, though! We could see that preteen girl talk is alive and well with those young ladies.
We finished our tour and gave the girls big hugs goodbye. They are so dear and we feel more protective of them every day. We truly want them to be happy and, of course, think we could make them pretty darn happy. But honestly, I remember being 11 and I remember how close I was to my friends at that time. If I had to make the decision that Karina will need to make, I truly don't know what I would have decided. They are well taken care of and are surrounded by friends and people who love them. I think if Victoria was to decide on her own, she'd definitely want to be adopted. Just my thought. Just the difference between 8 and 11 maybe.
Blake and I have decided to officially extend an invitation to adopt Karina and Victoria on Wednesday, or possibly Thursday at the latest. They still have not been told that that is really why we are here visiting them as we do not want them to feel any pressure, especially in light of their "adoption rejection" history. But Karina is a smart girl. We are confident that she knows exactly why we're here. The orphanage staff is attempting to prepare the girls each day for the prospect of being adopted.
So, we shall see. More than anything, Blake and I are convinced that this is all in God's hands. We are not worried or stressed out (at least we try hard not to be!). We truly do feel at peace to go forward with however it will turn out. We feel peace and we feel clarity. Now we are praying that Karina and Victoria will feel the same peace and clarity with whatever the decision is that they make.
xoxo
Sunday, 17 April 2011
A Good Visit & A Good Plan
We went to the orphanage again to visit Karina and Victoria. Again, they looked darling. Victoria, particularly, looked adorable in a white blouse with silver sparkles and flouncy sleeves. Their hair was freshly washed and when we noticed that Victoria had "new" braids with some of the new hairbands we had brought them, Karina told us they were American braids. Friday on our first visit Karina had braided Victoria's hair to use the hair accessories we'd brought for them. I was commenting that she did such a good job and that we called what she was doing "french braids" in the U.S. She said she'd do American the next day. Sure enough, she had!
We bought a bracelet decorating kit back in Kiev and it was a huge hit. The girls went straight to town peeling off the many assorted "gems" and sticking them onto the included bracelets. Then Blake mentioned that they could decorate their headbands, too, and that idea was very well-received. He told them they looked like princesses with their special tiaras. Very cute. They are very artistic and neat, which you know I can appreciate!
Then we painted nails! I had brought my standard nail polishes that I use to give myself a french manicure and asked if anyone wanted one. Both girls did. Karina was sitting right next to me so I started with her. She was very patient as I gave her the full french manicure. I tried to do it as quickly as possible, but it took probably 10-12 minutes. She was great, though. She has very pretty hands and nails! While I was painting Karina's nails, Victoria commented that she wouldn't be able to get the french manicure because her nails were too short. I said, "that's okay, we'll just put the pink on"! She also was so very sweet and patient and her manicure only took about five minutes. Whew!
We each decorated another bracelet and then it was time to go. We only have about an hour for each visit.
We aren't able to go today because it's Sunday and the staff that oversees the visits is off. We asked Karina and Victoria what they do on Sundays, if they went to church, and Karina said that someone comes to the orphanage to talk with them and give them a sermon. I asked if they liked church and they both said yes, but, of course, they could just be saying that! ;)
It is weird not attending Mass today. I have gone to Mass all over the world, in many different languages, but I was not able to locate a Roman Catholic church. I was contemplating just going to an Orthodox service, but Blake and I were in an Orthodox church in Kiev when a service was going on and I could not follow it at all as the presiders were behind a wall. I think I'll just say some extra prayers today!
We are quite sure that we will be home for Easter. Which brings me to the "A Good Plan" portion of this post.
Blake and I are amazed how adoptive parents can come over here and stay for 4 weeks + and then come back again for 10 days to complete the adoption. I am so fortunate that my job is very flexible and allows for long stretches on and off. Teachers and other professions can do that, too. However, Blake's business and his position is not like that. He has been able to keep up pretty well with email, but because of the cost can't really do calls, and he definitely notices being gone. He works with fantastic people who are completely supportive of him and what we're doing, but regardless, he does not feel comfortable being gone for four weeks straight.
After speaking more in depth with Irina, we realize that there are, in reality, two fairly long breaks (10-14 days) in-between court appearances. I then remembered reading a while back that there are actually three travel options for an adoption from Ukraine: 1) one long trip of 7+ weeks, 2) two trips, the first for 3-4 weeks and the second, about two weeks later, for around 10 days, or 3) three trips, the first for about 2 weeks, then 10-14 days later, the second for 4-5 days, then 10-14 days after that, the third and final trip for about 4-5 days. We have decided that, in light of our situation, if we are able to proceed with the adoption, we are choosing option #3. It is not common for parents to do this option, mostly, I'm sure, because it is cost prohibitive for almost everyone-- everyone except those of us fortunate to work in the airline industry and/or have accummulated thousands of frequent-flier miles. Check. And check.
So, we now have our "framework" for the timing of our travel and that has given us a considerable amount of peace going forward. And it also allows us to be home working and preparing for the girls full steam ahead whenever there are "long" breaks in this arduous process.
I'll write more later. For now, we are off to explore Donetsk. It is actually sunny here today! Things are definitely looking brighter by the day ...
xoxo
We bought a bracelet decorating kit back in Kiev and it was a huge hit. The girls went straight to town peeling off the many assorted "gems" and sticking them onto the included bracelets. Then Blake mentioned that they could decorate their headbands, too, and that idea was very well-received. He told them they looked like princesses with their special tiaras. Very cute. They are very artistic and neat, which you know I can appreciate!
Then we painted nails! I had brought my standard nail polishes that I use to give myself a french manicure and asked if anyone wanted one. Both girls did. Karina was sitting right next to me so I started with her. She was very patient as I gave her the full french manicure. I tried to do it as quickly as possible, but it took probably 10-12 minutes. She was great, though. She has very pretty hands and nails! While I was painting Karina's nails, Victoria commented that she wouldn't be able to get the french manicure because her nails were too short. I said, "that's okay, we'll just put the pink on"! She also was so very sweet and patient and her manicure only took about five minutes. Whew!
We each decorated another bracelet and then it was time to go. We only have about an hour for each visit.
We aren't able to go today because it's Sunday and the staff that oversees the visits is off. We asked Karina and Victoria what they do on Sundays, if they went to church, and Karina said that someone comes to the orphanage to talk with them and give them a sermon. I asked if they liked church and they both said yes, but, of course, they could just be saying that! ;)
It is weird not attending Mass today. I have gone to Mass all over the world, in many different languages, but I was not able to locate a Roman Catholic church. I was contemplating just going to an Orthodox service, but Blake and I were in an Orthodox church in Kiev when a service was going on and I could not follow it at all as the presiders were behind a wall. I think I'll just say some extra prayers today!
We are quite sure that we will be home for Easter. Which brings me to the "A Good Plan" portion of this post.
Blake and I are amazed how adoptive parents can come over here and stay for 4 weeks + and then come back again for 10 days to complete the adoption. I am so fortunate that my job is very flexible and allows for long stretches on and off. Teachers and other professions can do that, too. However, Blake's business and his position is not like that. He has been able to keep up pretty well with email, but because of the cost can't really do calls, and he definitely notices being gone. He works with fantastic people who are completely supportive of him and what we're doing, but regardless, he does not feel comfortable being gone for four weeks straight.
After speaking more in depth with Irina, we realize that there are, in reality, two fairly long breaks (10-14 days) in-between court appearances. I then remembered reading a while back that there are actually three travel options for an adoption from Ukraine: 1) one long trip of 7+ weeks, 2) two trips, the first for 3-4 weeks and the second, about two weeks later, for around 10 days, or 3) three trips, the first for about 2 weeks, then 10-14 days later, the second for 4-5 days, then 10-14 days after that, the third and final trip for about 4-5 days. We have decided that, in light of our situation, if we are able to proceed with the adoption, we are choosing option #3. It is not common for parents to do this option, mostly, I'm sure, because it is cost prohibitive for almost everyone-- everyone except those of us fortunate to work in the airline industry and/or have accummulated thousands of frequent-flier miles. Check. And check.
So, we now have our "framework" for the timing of our travel and that has given us a considerable amount of peace going forward. And it also allows us to be home working and preparing for the girls full steam ahead whenever there are "long" breaks in this arduous process.
I'll write more later. For now, we are off to explore Donetsk. It is actually sunny here today! Things are definitely looking brighter by the day ...
xoxo
Friday, 15 April 2011
Anywhere, as long as I'm in the right neighborhood ...
Thankfully, I'm feeling quite a bit better since my first post today detailing my homesickness.
Earlier, Konstantin had contacted a local rental company to secure an apartment for us and when we got there this afternoon it was simply dreadful. I mentioned that most buildings look like tenements and this one was no exception. Plus, it wasn't even in an area near any restaurants and shops. The actual flat itself was acceptable, but there is no way we would have felt comfortable staying there. Irina felt the same way. Having only relied on the rental company, Konstantin had done his best.
So, Vladimir, our driver, took us into the center of town, near Lenin Square, and pointed out some areas where he may know of flats available in the next day or so. Meanwhile, we decided to book a hotel room for the night. Vlad drove us to Liverpool Hotel, right nearby, but it was booked. I'd remembered checking out trip advisor as soon as we'd learned we'd be in Donetsk and an affordable boutique hotel had rated very highly and better than anything else besides the $500/night Donbass Palace. The site had shown the quaint Azania Suites Hotel all booked, but we decided to stop by anyway. As luck would have it, they had two rooms available (for us and for Irina) and at a very reasonable price. The suites are spacious and beautiful, with a mini-kitchen, and the staff is lovely. They even speak decent English! If we don't find a flat to our liking tomorrow we are happy to remain here.
When we headed out for dinner, we walked about four blocks toward the city center (the hotel is on a neighborhood side street) and there we found what I had yet to see here in Donetsk -- life in color!! We had arrived at Pushkin Boulevard - clearly my kind of street. There is a park running through the center of the boulevard with playgrounds and trees and even a hint of green grass coming up. Restaurants, shops and cafes line the park and clean, non-tenement-looking apartment buildings border it. Color and joy and liveliness do exist in Donetsk after all! I have found my neighborhood away from home.
Earlier, Konstantin had contacted a local rental company to secure an apartment for us and when we got there this afternoon it was simply dreadful. I mentioned that most buildings look like tenements and this one was no exception. Plus, it wasn't even in an area near any restaurants and shops. The actual flat itself was acceptable, but there is no way we would have felt comfortable staying there. Irina felt the same way. Having only relied on the rental company, Konstantin had done his best.
So, Vladimir, our driver, took us into the center of town, near Lenin Square, and pointed out some areas where he may know of flats available in the next day or so. Meanwhile, we decided to book a hotel room for the night. Vlad drove us to Liverpool Hotel, right nearby, but it was booked. I'd remembered checking out trip advisor as soon as we'd learned we'd be in Donetsk and an affordable boutique hotel had rated very highly and better than anything else besides the $500/night Donbass Palace. The site had shown the quaint Azania Suites Hotel all booked, but we decided to stop by anyway. As luck would have it, they had two rooms available (for us and for Irina) and at a very reasonable price. The suites are spacious and beautiful, with a mini-kitchen, and the staff is lovely. They even speak decent English! If we don't find a flat to our liking tomorrow we are happy to remain here.
When we headed out for dinner, w
A Good Start
We went to the orphanage this afternoon to meet Karina and Victoria. As soon as we walked in, they were waiting for us in the main hall. They are darling! Karina is quite tall! She just turned 11 and is probably almost 5' feet. Victoria is still a petite 8-yr. old.
We were escorted into a special meeting room where about five staff members, along with the regional chief of the CPS, plus Irina, followed. Karina and Victoria said a few things in English to us! Just easy stuff like their names and their ages, but it was very cute. They smiled easily and often and had adorable expressions. They both seem so sweet and funny, too.
Karina braided & decorated Victoria's hair with the hair accessories we'd brought and they enjoyed painting the little ceramic magnets we had for them, too. They were especially interested in our dogs, Kane and Kandy, and delighted in looking at all the photos of them and the whole family. We talked about art and singing and dancing and sports - all of which the girls enjoy!
We then said we'd see them again tomorrow and the girls both gave us big hugs goodbye, not once, but twice. So sweet. As we mentioned, though, Karina and Victoria have turned down two offers for adoption- one from a Ukrainian family and one from a foreign family- so they may simply enjoy meeting people! ;)
We made a point to ask that we be introduced only as friends as we do not want the girls to feel any pressure, nor do we, until we all are sure we are on the same page.
We hope to meet with the orphanage doctor and the girls' childcare workers and teachers to get more specific and detailed information about them tomorrow.
All in all, it was all that we could have hoped for, and more, in a first meeting. We will see how things progress.
Your continued prayers for true peace and clarity for both Blake and me and for Karina and Victoria are still and always appreciated.
Love you all!
xoox
We were escorted into a special meeting room where about five staff members, along with the regional chief of the CPS, plus Irina, followed. Karina and Victoria said a few things in English to us! Just easy stuff like their names and their ages, but it was very cute. They smiled easily and often and had adorable expressions. They both seem so sweet and funny, too.
Karina braided & decorated Victoria's hair with the hair accessories we'd brought and they enjoyed painting the little ceramic magnets we had for them, too. They were especially interested in our dogs, Kane and Kandy, and delighted in looking at all the photos of them and the whole family. We talked about art and singing and dancing and sports - all of which the girls enjoy!
We then said we'd see them again tomorrow and the girls both gave us big hugs goodbye, not once, but twice. So sweet. As we mentioned, though, Karina and Victoria have turned down two offers for adoption- one from a Ukrainian family and one from a foreign family- so they may simply enjoy meeting people! ;)
We made a point to ask that we be introduced only as friends as we do not want the girls to feel any pressure, nor do we, until we all are sure we are on the same page.
We hope to meet with the orphanage doctor and the girls' childcare workers and teachers to get more specific and detailed information about them tomorrow.
All in all, it was all that we could have hoped for, and more, in a first meeting. We will see how things progress.
Your continued prayers for true peace and clarity for both Blake and me and for Karina and Victoria are still and always appreciated.
Love you all!
xoox
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